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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24916975">since third grade.</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/dylaesthetics/pseuds/dylaesthetics'>dylaesthetics</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Teen Wolf (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Confessions, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, New Relationship, One Shot, Stiles' POV, Stydia, between 6x10 and 6x11, first encounters</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-06-25</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-06-25</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 04:35:44</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>3,726</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24916975</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/dylaesthetics/pseuds/dylaesthetics</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Lydia and Stiles are learning how to be in a relationship after years of friendship, remembering their first encounters and building a co-existent future.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Lydia Martin/Stiles Stilinski</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>82</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>since third grade.</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><ul class="associations">
      <li>For <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=sofi+%5Bsmartiinski%5D">sofi [smartiinski]</a>.</li>



    </ul></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“I didn’t say it back.”</p><p>“You don’t have to.”</p><hr/><p>When Stiles opened his eyes, he’d forgotten.</p><p>For a millisecond, he wasn’t in his sunrise lit bedroom, buried between the welcoming sheets, and he didn’t feel a body pressed against his side, neither an arm on his chest. He’d forgotten the ghost riders and how they’d beaten them last night. He didn’t remember reuniting with his dad, Scott, Liam, Malia, Lydia...</p><p>
  <em>Lydia.</em>
</p><p>Suddenly, he jerked up, feeling the arm fall down. He glanced its way, at the hand he’d held so many times, the fingers that, even in the barely illuminated room, he knew belonged to Lydia. Then he noticed a shape – <em>Lydia’s </em>shape, lied across the middle of his bed as he was pushed to the very edge. She slept peacefully, breathing ever so slowly, while Stiles started panicking, breaths short and unsteady.</p><p>This had happened before. In junior year, when Stiles had nightmares after nightmares that he couldn’t slip out of. Lydia had slept beside him, cuddled up, and for the longest moment, he hadn’t realized that it was no normal occurrence.</p><p>He counted his fingers. One, two, three, four, five.. Six, seven, eight, nine, ten. Ten. Stiles double-checked, yet he still had his normal amount. He rose from his bed, approaching his desk and loudly rummaging through his belongings to find anything to read.</p><p>“Stiles.” a voice muttered.</p><p>Stiles was certain he was dreaming now, so he put an end to his search. The sound was distant; he couldn’t tell where the whisper was coming from. An image of the nogitsune flashed in his mind and for a second, he feared it’d been the demon calling for him.</p><p>“Stiles, you’re not asleep,” Lydia said louder.</p><p>He swung around, meeting eyes with Lydia’s – under the greens were dark circles from not sleeping enough. She’d sat up, holding Stiles’ blanket over her chest and staring at him nervously.</p><p>“You’re awake,” she promised, worry thick in her voice. “Please come back to bed.”</p><p>Stiles groaned, covering his face in horror. She’d whispered the same words Lydia from the nightmare had before.</p><p>He didn’t know how long he stood there, shaking palms holding his face, but eventually, he felt Lydia’s arms wrap around his back and her breath hot on his neck as she leaned in to plant a vague kiss.</p><p>“You said the same thing then.” subconsciously, Stiles hugged her back, resting his head on her shoulder. “You were in my nightmares. You were with me. Here.” he pointed at his bed when Lydia pulled away to have her full attention on the boy.</p><p>“Oh, Stiles. I’m so sorry.” she embraced him again, whispering <em>it’s real this time </em>into his ear repeatedly.</p><p>Stiles hadn’t a clue how long it took for him to understand Lydia was telling the truth, or perhaps he’d known it all along, yet the voice of the nogitsune still haunted the back of his brain.</p><p>When he fully recalled the night before, how Lydia had rushed into the locker room after defeating a ghost rider who’d just attempted at killing him, admitted she loved him, <em>kissed </em>him and they’d ended up falling asleep in his bed, uttering confessions and fondly caressing each other’s skin – that’s when he finally believed.</p><p>In minutes, they were already back under Stiles’ sheets, holding each other firmly and gradually dozing off to the sound of one another’s breaths.</p><hr/><p>“What do you <em>mean </em>I missed <em>months </em>of senior year?”</p><p>The clocked ticked 2 in the afternoon when Lydia and Stiles sat at the kitchen table, biting into their respective sandwiches. They were alone; Noah had plenty to fix down at the sheriff’s station and he’d left a note, saying he’d be gone all day. Lydia, who was wearing one of Stiles’ flannels she’d borrowed last night, chuckled briefly.</p><p>“You weren’t the only one, I’m sure they’ll still let you graduate.” she comforted him, elbowing his side. As much as Stiles couldn’t fathom happenings of last night just yet, Lydia touching him whenever she pleased felt <em>so</em> easy, but just as new.</p><p>“At least we’ll still get to go to prom together, ri-?” Stiles interrupted himself. “Oh, I probably shouldn’t have asked this while breakfasting in pyjamas. I’ve seen all the crazy, what is it-? <em>Promposals, </em>of people going far out of their way for their dates.”</p><p>Lydia laughed again, swallowing a bite. “I’m completely okay with you asking this way, too, you know. I probably would’ve just <em>assumed</em>.”</p><p>She assumed. Stiles, even though aware Lydia had loved him for a while now, couldn’t believe his ears when she talked about them so effortlessly. Stiles wondered if her sudden change of self-expression had anything to do with the months he was erased, had he missed the growth of her character he’d always observed as repressed. He remembered how he’d called her exterior cold and lifeless only two years ago. Today, Lydia demonstrated the opposite.</p><p>Silently, they finished breakfast – or lunch, and moved back upstairs to Stiles’ room, as Lydia commented about the state the place had been only days ago. While they made plans to meet Scott and Malia later, Lydia borrowed more of his clothes and rushed to take a shower.</p><p>Stiles was then left alone with his thoughts for the first time since returning from the hunt. As he watched Scott respond to Lydia’s text, he was thrown back to the night before, after they’d defeated the ghost riders and finally had a long enough moment to catch their breaths at the school parking lot.</p><p>
  <em>Scott had monitored Stiles, who never let go of Lydia’s hand, for quite a bit until he finally spoke to him.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“It’s so insane.” he broke Lydia and Stiles apart and pushed Stiles to the side so they could speak privately. “Just the other day, I questioned Lydia and didn’t know I had a best friend. And now you’re here and I can’t believe I could ever forget you.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Questioned Lydia?” Stiles’ face filled with confusion.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“She knew.” Scott hinted at Stiles’ disappearance. “I don’t think she ever truly forgot you. And not just because of banshee instincts. Just earlier, her memories brought you back. Mine or Malia’s weren’t nearly strong enough.” he looked at Stiles guiltily. “I don’t think anyone has a connection like you two.”</em>
</p><p><em>Stiles remained baffled. He’d guessed Lydia remembered</em> something<em> to create the dimensional rift, but he hadn’t enough time to think it through. </em></p><p>
  <em>“We’re... We..” Stiles struggled to form a coherent sentence, mind still captured by the memory of their kiss.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“I know. I don’t even have to smell it on you two.” Scott grinned proudly. “Ten-year plan? Make it two, huh?”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>They were by the fence now and when Stiles paid a glance back to his dad and the pack, he noticed Lydia staring at him restlessly, biting her lip. Stiles waved at her, reassuringly. Lydia nodded and broke their eye contact, shifting her attention to Malia.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“It’s just so surreal. It feels like yesterday we weren’t in each other’s lives. And today..”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Stiles didn’t know how to finish his sentence. What were they? Is he too quick to assume they’re together, after one kiss? What if Lydia had kissed him out of her fear of separation? Could it be that what Stiles heard Lydia announce as he went through the rift a part of his imagination?</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Don’t worry.” apparently, Stiles’ anxiety didn’t go unnoticed by Scott’s nose. “She loves you.”</em>
</p><p>When Lydia returned from her shower, dressed in Stiles’ clothes, he didn’t notice himself standing up and approaching the girl as she folded the flannel she’d slept in and put it on his bed stand. Stiles took Lydia by her shoulders, swung her around and, without a second guess, leaned in to kiss her.</p><p>Despite his energetic approach, he didn’t kiss her roughly. Their first kiss was short, yet full of depth and yearning, and Lydia kissed back immediately. The second stretched longer, heat rising from their stomachs to their chests, and their bodies drew closer and closer until Lydia fell on Stiles’ bed on her back.</p><p>They chuckled, Stiles leaning over her and feeling like his heart was about to burst out of his chest. Lydia looked how he felt, cheeks rose-tinted and eyes half-open, emitting nothing but love, so much love. She, then, reached for the collar of his shirt and brought him back down to her lips, tasting every inch and cupping his cheek with her other hand. His heart skipped a beat, and then returned to racing in his ears. Stiles came back for air, only to ensure he wasn’t imagining the look on Lydia’s face.</p><p>“It’s real, right? We’re real?” he asked breathlessly.</p><p>Lydia looked like she was prepared to punch him, putting all of her concentration into forming only a half-smile, even though she clearly thought Stiles was acting impossibly. “Yes, very much so, you idiot.” and she kissed him again, love flushing over them like a warm wave that disconnected their minds from any coherent thought.</p><p>Neither of them noticed how long they were kissing for until Lydia’s phone rang, notifying the couple that their friends were waiting for them outside.</p><hr/><p>Learning how to be in a relationship after being friends for so long didn’t even bother Lydia and Stiles. They’d already been spending all of their free time together - studying, fighting supernatural chaos or simply existing around each other. The only difference in their relationship, really, was that they could now kiss whenever they wished.</p><p>Several days had passed after Stiles was brought back and the couple was lying on Lydia’s bed, each awaiting emails from their universities.</p><p>“I can’t believe we’re going to be 7 hours away from each other.” Stiles sighed, checking the maps once again as if hoping the distance would magically regress.</p><p>“It’s only an hour flight. We’ll manage. Once every few months?” Lydia asked unsurely, a hint of disappointment in her voice, and Stiles groaned.</p><p>“That’s too long.” they both admitted simultaneously.</p><p>Stiles progressively got accustomed to the truth that what he felt for Lydia isn’t one-sided, not anymore. He wondered how 15 or 16 years old him would react if he could tell him just how everything changed over time. But he’s pleased he can’t, remembering how much differently he’d acted around Lydia and how a little too obsessive crush gradually grew into genuine love, once the boy was finally introduced to the real Lydia.</p><p>“Stiles, Stiles, Stiles!” Lydia suddenly shouted, throwing the pillow she was hugging aside, eyes focused on her laptop’s screen. “I got my email from MIT!”</p><p>“You applied for MIT? Is that even possible?” Stiles earned a soft punch for that.</p><p>Lydia’s eyes skimmed through the email in silence, expression unreadable. Stiles respected her privacy and didn’t peek. Finally, she shut the laptop, falling down on her back and hiding under the pillow she’d just thrown away.</p><p>“Lydia?” concern crept into Stiles’ voice, hearing what could be either muffled laughing or crying.</p><p>She appeared from under the pillow, hair shuffled and tears glistening, enriching the green in her irises. “I.. got.. in.”</p><p>“You’re joking.” Stiles breathed out, mouth ajar. Lydia shook her head feverishly, beaming widely. “I’m so proud of you, Lydia.” he exposed his brightest smile, leaning in to embrace his very jittery girlfriend, who held him tight before letting go.</p><p>“It’s still 7 hours away from you.” she sighed, smile fading on her face.</p><p>“We’ll manage.” Stiles brushed his fingers across her cheek and Lydia shut her eyes.</p><hr/><p>“Since third grade? Why? You never told me.”</p><p>It was nearing the end of the summer when the pair lied on the cool ground by the cliff in the middle of the night, clutching cans of beer and surrounded by the lights from the endless houses of Beacon Hills. Every now and then, some windows turned black and they hadn’t even noticed the clock ticking past midnight.</p><p>“I don’t know. I was <em>nine</em>!” Stiles protested, elbowing Lydia for bringing it up.</p><p>The truth is, Stiles remembered the reason perfectly.</p><p>It had probably been a couple of weeks since his mum passed away when Stiles returned to school, with eyes still bloodshot, cheeks rosy and this <em>face </em>that expressed clearly that the boy had witnessed a tragedy.</p><p>None of the kids in his class, other than Scott, knew about Claudia. Not the boy who lent him the cooler markers or the girl who always asked him about his day, not the one with the strawberry blonde hair, who quietly did her homework in the breaks between classes, instead of waiting to get home like the rest.</p><p>Or at least that’s what nine-year-old Stiles had assumed.</p><p>On the day that he came back, Scott had fallen ill, so he attended the class without a shoulder of support, sitting alone at the desk he usually shared with Scott. Stiles buried his face in his arms, remembering how his mum had used every opportunity she got to drop him off at school before she got sicker, and it took him until the bell rang to notice that a certain strawberry blonde had taken the empty chair next to him.</p><p>For every day that Scott stayed home, Lydia sat beside him, silently. Even if they were to talk, Stiles hadn’t a clue what he could say so he simply glanced over at her every couple minutes while she was carefully listening to the teacher and writing down notes. Quickly enough he’d understood that she was definitely at the top of their class, finishing a task minutes before others and earning full marks she never bragged about. To be absolutely honest, Stiles wasn’t too eager for Scott’s return, because while Lydia was close, he was too busy studying her to think about his mum.</p><p>“I remember you in third grade. You were..” Lydia interrupted his memory and Stiles realized he’d been silent for minutes.</p><p>“Sad?” he guessed.</p><p>Lydia shook her head, shifting her attention from the scenery to Stiles. “Strong.” she smiled bittersweetly. “Your mum... But you still managed to smile.”</p><p>Stiles doesn’t remember smiling back then. He hasn’t a clue how much time slipped past until he truly did smile, but he imagined it had something to do with the owner of the green eyes that currently bored into his. The same pair that he’d recognize anywhere, which brought him joy and made his heart burst, over and over.</p><p>“It was you.” suddenly, Stiles summoned enough courage, and he grinned widely – his relief outgrew the anxiety. “You’re the reason. And that’s why it’s always been you.”</p><p>Stiles never broke the eye contact with her, not even when he felt salty liquid falling from his lashes.</p><p>Always been Lydia. When nine-year-old Stiles needed someone, <em>anyone</em>, Lydia didn’t leave his side. When sixteen-year-old Stiles took her to the winter formal, she didn’t complain about the state of his car. When seventeen-year-old Stiles had a panic attack, she didn’t hesitate. When eighteen-year-old Stiles was erased from the world as they knew it, she brought him back.</p><p>“I’m sorry it took so long for me to catch up. I <em>did</em>, junior year, but then Malia..” Lydia stopped, shaking her head. “I mean it’s not even fair for me to mention it, you had to see<em> much </em>worse.”</p><p>Without a second thought, Stiles leaned over to plant a kiss on the top of her hand in gratitude. Not because he simply appreciated the sentiment, but because she listened, <em>too. </em>Lydia chuckled when he leaned away, eyes bright even under the starry sky.</p><p>“Why?”</p><p>Stiles feared his question was too obscure, but Lydia picked it up right away, taking his hand firmly. She’d somehow ended up sitting on his lap, legs trapping his waist.</p><p>“<em>Because</em> you..” she struggled to keep her voice unemotional, pausing. “You were the <em>only </em>person to ever accept me, even at my worst. I changed so much after elementary school because of all these expectations, and my parents were splitting up, and while our teachers called me a prodigy, I had to hear the opposite from them. They were just so <em>angry </em>all the time. At each other. At me.”</p><p>“And at one point, I began to believe my parents instead. You know my mum, she’s always been... <em>Sceptical</em>, but it was worse then. In middle school, I built something like a shield that separated me from getting close to anyone and them finding out the truth about me. At first, I didn’t think much of it but eventually, it <em>grew </em>on me, and only alone, far from everyone else, I felt like I could break it down.”</p><p>Stiles listened, frowning at the right parts while, finally, Lydia revealed <em>everything </em>he’d ever wondered about, not bothering to conceal her emotions now.</p><p>“I remember us talking in middle school maybe a couple of times, was it for a designated pair project?” Stiles nodded with a dimpled smile. “Well, yes, and while I had dozens of friends, or rather people who talked to me because I was so <em>boring </em>and <em>average </em>that they felt special in my presence and used me for their benefit, fun, indeed... While I only had them, our small conversations for the project felt like the most genuine thing I’d experienced in a while. And you made me reconsider the shield in the first place.”</p><p>“But then my parents divorced and it became worse. High school was upon us and while my GPA remained 5.0 without too much effort, they continued trying to convince me that I am not good enough. It was really having the worst of both worlds – fake admired at school, wrongly loved between my mum’s house and dad’s apartment. And then, in freshman year, I met Jackson.” she swallowed loudly, shifting her gaze to the side for a moment – Stiles understood that Jackson had caused a big part of her trauma. “Maybe because I just lacked love <em>so much, </em>or because it was a good distraction, but I believed he <em>actually</em> loved me, for the longest time, and I allowed our relationship to be based on lies and pretence. When Allison came, I was at my worst, yet she somehow saw right through the shield and she liked being around me. That’s why she easily became my closest friend.”</p><p>Lydia paused, staring at their intertwined fingers. Stiles held them tighter. “It wasn’t long after, of course, that you and I started spending some time together.”</p><p>“Before that, I remember you talking to me at the hospital while I pretended to ignore you. I actually heard everything you said.” Stiles had Lydia’s cold response memorized – he’d thought it over and over. “But while you spoke, this memory of you back then just struck me. I don’t know if you remember, but we used to sit together for a couple of weeks in elementary while Scott had, what was it..? Chickenpox and, Stiles, I wanted to be your friend so <em>badly. </em>Just sitting there, even though we didn’t speak, made me feel accepted. You never made remarks about my grades or laughed about me choosing to study rather than play with the other kids, and you somehow still made me feel connected to you. Safe.”</p><p>“And then, the winter formal.” Stiles spotted tears streaming down her face that she didn’t seem to notice until he reached up and wiped them away softly. “Every word you told me is <em>engraved </em>in my brain. It was like a breakthrough. We barely knew each other, we’d hardly talked and there you were, confessing something you’d hidden for <em>years </em>and then outright exposing my shield and finally, the years spent hiding felt wasted. And not only because you, an almost stranger, still managed to see through it, but because there was no point. When you called me smart, you opened a door that should’ve never been shut. When you called me cold and lifeless, I understood that I had gone too far.”</p><p>“Of course, it isn’t just that, though it’s probably the biggest part – giving that push to gradually start changing. There are so many reasons why it’s <em>you, </em>Stiles.” Lydia recited him, Stiles’ heart skipping several beats. “You’ve saved my life so many times. You listened, you paid attention and you respected me even when I never deserved it. You <em>liked </em>me when I hated myself with every fibre in my body. And then I kissed you in junior year and within seconds you became someone I <em>loved</em> rather than someone I simply felt gravely grateful towards.”</p><p>“I love you.” she didn’t hesitate, as ready as ever, probably having thought it over enough times. “I realized I hadn’t said it yet, but I wanted to explain everything first and apologize for taking so long. I really <em>do</em> love you, every part of you, even when we’re seven hours apart or you’re having nightmares that leave you feeling hopeless, or if you stop loving me. Because I can’t imagine <em>not</em> loving you, not anymore.”</p><p>When Lydia finished, catching her breath, Stiles was speechless for several moments. He hadn’t a clue where to begin, from Lydia just having revealed <em>everything </em>to saying she loved him, at last.</p><p>He wondered if there were any words to express the feeling in his chest that then explored his body, bringing light and love to even the darkest parts. He didn’t feel buzzed from the couple beers they’d chugged. He wasn’t wonderstruck from the beautiful view of his hometown.</p><p>Stiles struggled to even open his mouth or move, so Lydia spoke first. “You don’t have to say anything. I just needed you to know.”</p><p>And with that being said, Stiles broke the distance between their lips. If he couldn’t find words good enough to explain how much he loved her, he could make her <em>feel </em>it with every kiss they’d missed out on, every moment they could’ve spent by each other’s side, every smile, every happy tear, every joke and every little memory.</p><p>Lydia parted her lips before sinking deeper into his kiss, sighing happily into his mouth. His hands got lost in her curls, while her fingers travelled across his back, until Stiles gently landed in the grass, Lydia’s hands now cupping his cheeks. When they pulled apart to breathe, Lydia caressed his face as she counted his freckles in the starlight.</p><p>“Thank you for saving me.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>this one shot i dedicated to sofi as their 18th birthday gift &lt;3 also, today is teen wolf reunion so hope you guys are having fun!</p><p>@piinofs on twitter</p></blockquote></div></div>
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